In my later years of high school I began
to take an interest in honor bands. An honor band is basically a prestigious
wind ensemble comprised of high school students from all over the state or
region. Being a participant of such an event signified that you were among the
best student musicians in the area. Although I already held a good standing in
my high school’s band, participating in the honor bands would give me an
opportunity to actually play with more serious musicians
I did not get off on a good start
though; I constantly practiced for upcoming auditions, but I was never able to
make the ensembles. It did not help that my main instrument was alto saxophone.
It would be worth noting that auditioning for a place in any ensemble as an
alto sax was very competitive. It was the section that usually the largest
amount of people try out for, and is usually the smallest section in the band.
Also, I became extremely nervous whenever I went in for my audition. I would be
so worried that I would mess up something that I really did mess up, and there
were many times that right before I auditioned I would over practice, which
caused fatigue. Still, the smaller county and regional bands did not compare to
the one that changed everything.
In the fall semester of my junior year I
decided to audition for the Mississippi Lions All-State Band, the highest band
in the state. It consisted of two auditions: a preliminary round that everyone
tried out for and a final round for those who were good enough to receive
callbacks. They had audition music prepared for according to section of
instrumentation to be practiced which was very difficult. The auditions were
held at Pearl High School near Jackson, MS. It was about a three hour drive
from my town to Pearl, and the auditions started early in the morning so I
would have to arrive the day before and stay overnight. I decided to travel
with my friend, a clarinetist who was the only other person from my school
auditioning, and his mom to the audition. It was a decision that I would soon
regret.
We left early in the afternoon and
arrived there that evening and stayed in a fairly cheap hotel near the school.
The next morning we got up, ate a small breakfast, and headed to the school. We
arrived a little late, which annoyed me because by the time I signed up for a
time the only times were later in the day. The warm-up rooms were specific to
each section. As I passed the flute and clarinet rooms I could hear the soft,
pretty melodies being practiced, but when I approached the room for the
saxophones it sounded like war that was being fought with sound. I went to a
corner of the room and practiced my repertoire for about an hour. My audition
was still several hours away so I either walked around or listened to the other
players in my room. The other players were always challenging each other; they
would have their own competitions to see who could play their scales the
fastest, or who had the best intonation, and so on. To someone who was not used
to all the playing they would probably get a headache. The entire event seemed
as if it was designed to be as intimidating as it could be, hearing all these
good players and the air in the whole place was thick with tension. Needless to
say, this did not calm my nerves one bit, but none of it was as intimidating as
the audition itself.
When it was finally time for me to go I
walked up the stairs and made my way to the audition room. As I walked became
extremely nervous and my heart was pounding in my chest. I handed the assistant
by the door my audition card and he showed me in. There were five judges in the
room (which was very intimidating since most other auditions had only one or
two) who analyzed me head to toe. The judge in the center instructed me to play
my major scales, prepared pieces, and then gave me a piece to sight read. The
audition did not go very well, my scale and pieces were pretty mediocre, but
the sight-reading was terrible. “Thank you” was all the judge in the center
said then I left the room. As I walked back to put my instrument up I reflected
on how bad my audition went, but hoped it would be enough to at least make
callbacks. It would be a few hours before the results would be posted.
When the results were finally posted I
ran and fought through the crowd to see how I did. I made it to the front and
scanned the placement sheet from the bottom up. I didn’t get far. Out of the
fifty plus altos that auditioned I was thirty-six, and only the top twelve made
callbacks. I just stared at my name, not believing that I did so poorly. As I
walked away my friend who I came with ran up to me. He made callbacks, six out
of about fifty (the top thirty-six make callbacks). This news only made me feel
worse about myself, that he made it and I didn’t. The ride home was miserable;
my friend and his mom were celebrating his accomplishment while I just sat
there feeling like I was the ultimate failure. When I got home I I was determined to return as a much better
musician.
A couple weeks later I looked up the
audition music for next year’s audition and practiced rigorously every day. I
remember practicing my scales over and over, trying to make them as perfect as
possible, and countless hours working on the prepared pieces. My friend was
also going back to audition, but this time I decided to go there alone so that
would not be distracted and to avoid the same horrible ride home the previous
year. On the morning of the audition I practiced in the parking lot behind the
hotel by myself, just me and my music, instead of being in the middle of that
chaotic warm-up room. I walked to the audition room once again with the same
nervousness I always felt. Before I went in stopped and prayed a quick prayer
asking God to keep my mind at peace. The audition, while I still made a few
errors, was a lot better than the first time around. Instead of waiting in the
school all day for the results I went out to eat and see the town to take my
mind off of it. When I went back the results were already posted. I placed in
at eleven. I could barely contain my excitement, all my hard work had paid off.
I went back the next weekend for the
final audition and placed seventh, but only the top six made the band. While I
was a little frustrated that I didn’t make the final cut, I was still happy
with my improvement from the previous year. My success continued on to the
other honor bands as well. I placed in the high chairs at all of the ensembles
I tried out for. I participated in the honor clinics at Desoto County, Delta
State University, Mississippi State University, University of Memphis, and even
the University of Alabama. I had accomplished what I set out to do: I proved
that I was a great saxophonist. I did not only prove this to the judges though.
I proved it to myself.
